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A close friend once wondered if she would experience identity crisis when she went abroad to study further. She was enthusiastic about her future academic plans and like best pals we were discussing every detail. Typically, some form of culture shock and loneliness are inevitable.

I don’t think one experiences identity crisis only when one has to stay in an unknown country for a period of time. Amidst us there are definitely souls searching for their identities and are unaware. These are emotionally deteriorated persons. Neuroses, emotional attachments, addictions – what are they searching for? Victims of searing pain and frustration, their paradigms are shattered. Unlike others, they have grown in a world of unknown insecurity and fear with an immense sense of loss and unworthiness called low self-esteem.

Did you just remember Arthur Fleck played by Joaquin Phoenix in the psychological thriller film Joker ?

Personal psychosocial conflict especially in adolescence that involves confusion about one’s social role and often a sense of loss of continuity to one’s personality.
– Merriam Webster dictionary

Why do we develop perversions and psychosomatic illnesses? Overconfidence? Unnecessary aggression? Neuroses? Sensitization to depressions?

What could be wrong with so many young men and women identifying themselves with people they don’t even know, such as celebrities and movie stars? There are many others dissipating away to make their presence felt desperately in social media. Are they seeking fame, money or attention?

Confused and gripped by the accelerating changes ever witnessed in human history before, we struggle in the rat race to acquire a niche in the material world for wealth and fame. So is this the only way out, especially keeping in view the fact that we have become highly dehumanized today? We meet and greet people lesser and send messages over the phone, rather than speak directly to the person. Even when we do this, we disrespect the person and the conversation with mobile phones glued to our hands and ears.

And yet, humans that we are, we seek to identify ourselves with nuances that are humane. Somewhere behind the scenes, whether we realize or not, it is ‘warmth’ and ‘love’ that makes each of us feel accepted and worthy. In fact our personalities revolve around these.

Here unfolds the power of a caring touch. A touch can heal. It can assure. It can trigger a whole set of sensibilities towards better living. It can make all the difference.

If orgasm be the end of a relationship, only ‘give’ and ‘take’ be the norms, then we will never understand the relevance of genuine concern and the importance of imparting time and warmth to our near and dear ones. Enmeshed in the midst of culture shock, confused sexual values, capitalism driven careers and stressed lifestyles, it is in these nuances that we find sense – the most basic human truth. Lack of it can lead to one’s search for oneself.

Don’t sympathize. Empathize. Weak emotions are the most damaging. They can suck you off your energies and relegate you to passivity and immobility. If you can reach out to someone today, go ahead. It will make all the difference.
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* Image used in this post is retouched. Original photo by Soroush Karimi on Unsplash